Today I love….Sliding Doors

16 Aug

Why did my life turn out this way?

Don’t get me wrong – the problem isn’t that I am not happy – I believe I am very happy….and I am thankful for my life….I am (reasonably) healthy, employed and loved, well housed, fed and clothed….I don’t actually want for much at all!

When I was growing up, I always envisaged that I would be in a different place to where I am now….

For instance….by time my Mother was my age, she had an 8 year old daughter (me) and another baby imminently due! (my brother)….of course times change….

Me, on the other hand….no children of my own (yet) but I do help look after Mr. Bigs’ kids every 2nd weekend and school holidays etc. and they are a lovely little handful of joy!!!

We do have plans however…

I thought I would have travelled the world….

I thought I would have bought 1 (if not 2) house(s) and/or made my dream home into dreamy spaces….

I thought I would have made a career for myself (not just a job!) and found my niche in the world…..I always thought I was here to make a difference in others lives….

I can’t help myself thinking….what if?

I have some regrets, yes….but what if I had taken that job?

What if that boyfriend didn’t dump me?

What if I had taken that choice instead of this one?

What if I had taken that road instead of this one?

What if someone had told me all those years ago, how hard it was going to be for me to own my own home…would I have listened? I like to think so….but I am probably kidding myself!

So now, I have some work to do….by the time I am 40 I have some things that I simply must do! So, I’ll need to write my list of things to do before 40 very soon! Stay tuned for that post!

I need to achieve…..I need to find my purpose in life and I need to be happy with the path I am on and I need to love, love, love myself again and not feel like such a failure all of the time….

I also want to know….what would you have told your younger self?

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2 Responses to “Today I love….Sliding Doors”

  1. Bree @ The Blog Stylist August 20, 2010 at 9:05 am #

    Hi Catrina! Thanks so much for ‘liking’ my FB page & taking the time to leave a comment! Your blog’s so pretty – I think I want EVERYTHING in EVERY photo! xx

    • catrinam August 20, 2010 at 9:25 am #

      Thanks for the compliments Bree!!

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